Always starting over.

I feel pathetic sometimes. Always having to get back on track. This journey is HARD. I mean seriously- everything is easy right? You bite it, you write it. Calories in, calories out. Fruits and veggies! Avoid the junk! More water! etc etc. The strangest thing (that I've probably mentioned a thousand times before)- I do this for a JOB. I am a behavioral counselor that helps people with weight/nutrition/exercise. I have all these goals in mind and they're all very doable, but....I dont know? Am I motivated? Yes. Do I want to make changes? Yes. Do I have the skills necessary for making these changes? Yes. So why is this not working?

My plan is to workout 4-5x week for 45-60mins.
Is this realistic? Yes
Do I have support? Yes. My coworker who wants me to keep her accountable.
Do I have the resources? Yes. I have a few dvds and a gym membership.

Plan: Start counting points again.
Why? It worked for me before.
Is it hard? Yessss.... it takes a lot of planning for me and sometimes I feel it's overwhelming.
Is it doable? Yes. I just need to get over it and do it. I have no excuses. Once I start it's not actually so hard. The hardest part is the first week. After that? not so bad.


What if I get off track? Every moment is a new moment to start over. Yeahhh I had leftover pizza and a pop for breakfast/lunch this morning. BUT I have the opportunity to be healthy the rest of the day. AND I just got a food scale for Christmas which will help tremendously! I'm actually really excited about this. Before when I was doing WW, I was always estimating points for chicken breast, deli meats etc. But not anymore!

Anyways... today is Day 1. I don't plan on weighing myself literally every week. I'm thinking every 2-3wks. I can't handle the every week thing. For me, it's more about making sure I get in the exercise and eating right.

And I have to be honest here- this really is for ME. This journey. I want to lose the weight, exercise and eat right to prevent health problems and overall be healthy. But I can't lie- I would LOVE to lose 20lbs during the 15wks my ManFriend is gone (well, if I continue to see him after his short move for business is over). I guess even if I weren't to continue seeing him, it's a good goal to have in mind to stay with things so even if I do- I can't wait to see his surprise :) And I KNOW this is a huge wrong reason to want to lose weight, but as I stated above, it's for ME, but in the back of my mind, I would like for it to be noticeable and see his (or whoever elses') reaction.

Alright. So I'm back. Back to being on track and back to being on BTL. :)