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ah ha...light bulb moment
OK.. yesterday was a disaster (other than the fact that I DID run 2.17 miles). But I was finally able to figure out what the problem was. It's called EMOTIONAL eating! DUH! I don't know why I didn't think of that before! I had a big fight with my 16 year old daughter on Monday night and obviously it upset me and was probably still in the back of my mind all day yesterday! I know...it's still no excuse...but I just couldn't figure out where it was "coming from" when it was happening!
My daughter is (98% of the time) the BEST kid ever! She is astraight A student, has 2 jobs, is very responsible and is all around a great kid. But lately it seems like she is NEVER home (even if she isn't working)...and when she IS, she always has a bunch of kids over at our house. Don't get me wrong...I'd almost rather them hang out at my house as then I know where she is and what she is doing. BUT...there are times I feel like we are getting taken advantage of! Plus when there are extra kids in the house all the time, things just aren't "normal"...you know? We're always feeding extra kids dinner, and our fridge really gets hit hard with them drinking tons of water, pop, sports drinks etc! Once in a while it would be nice for her to go hang out at THEIR house!
Anyway...we talked, yelled, cried, hugged. It's over and done and we are fine. BUT...she said one thing that really bothered and hurt me. She said..."I'll never be good enough for you". That one comment stuck with me all night and is still in the back of my mind. I know I DO expect alot out of my kids...and now I worry that maybe I criticize them too much without even realizing it ? Or maybe I don't praise them enough? Maybe that's why my son lacks self-confidence! My kids are already 14 and 16. Where have I gone wrong...and is it too late to "fix" that? Parenting is the hardest job EVER!
Today will be better!
My daughter is (98% of the time) the BEST kid ever! She is astraight A student, has 2 jobs, is very responsible and is all around a great kid. But lately it seems like she is NEVER home (even if she isn't working)...and when she IS, she always has a bunch of kids over at our house. Don't get me wrong...I'd almost rather them hang out at my house as then I know where she is and what she is doing. BUT...there are times I feel like we are getting taken advantage of! Plus when there are extra kids in the house all the time, things just aren't "normal"...you know? We're always feeding extra kids dinner, and our fridge really gets hit hard with them drinking tons of water, pop, sports drinks etc! Once in a while it would be nice for her to go hang out at THEIR house!
Anyway...we talked, yelled, cried, hugged. It's over and done and we are fine. BUT...she said one thing that really bothered and hurt me. She said..."I'll never be good enough for you". That one comment stuck with me all night and is still in the back of my mind. I know I DO expect alot out of my kids...and now I worry that maybe I criticize them too much without even realizing it ? Or maybe I don't praise them enough? Maybe that's why my son lacks self-confidence! My kids are already 14 and 16. Where have I gone wrong...and is it too late to "fix" that? Parenting is the hardest job EVER!
Today will be better!
Comment
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Comment by Courtney on January 14, 2009 at 9:00pm - Oh man - I was a DISASTER when I was a teenager and probably said way harsher things to my mom. I would try to touch base with her again. I wish my mom would have done that with me. We had some serious brawls - and as for your son, again, just touch base. The mere fact you are even thinking about this makes you an amazing mom. Seriously. Oh boy - my journey has just begun with kids - and you're right it is SO HARD! Hang in there and GREAT job on going for the run!!!
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Comment by Tish on January 14, 2009 at 5:00pm - Oh Robyn, You two will get through these years. You know she's a great kid and she knows you love her and think she's the greatest. Forget what she said--you've already thought about it and know it isn't true. I'm guessing she wishes she could retract the statement. Forget it and don't worry about it. Good job on your running!
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Comment by Berries on January 14, 2009 at 10:15am -
Oh Robyn, you are spot on when you say that parenting is the toughest job ever!!! I'm only dealing with a 2 yr old, but she has inherited the attitude that I had as a teenager. Her "stinkyness" has gotten to the point that I had to go buy the book "Have a New Kid By Friday". Of course, by the time I get a chance to sit down to read it, I'm too exhausted to read!!! LOL!!! I'm sure that your daughter's comment was just a heat of the moment thing and didn't mean it, and your son is at that awkward stage that all kids go through. Expecting a lot from your kids doesn't make you a bad Mom. It makes you a Super Hero!!!
Hope you have a wonderful day, Super Mom!!!
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Comment by Tawnya on January 14, 2009 at 9:38am - I don't know what to tell ya either girl. It was probably nothing, just a teenager being a teenager. Teenagers always think their parents are horrible. LOL. At least she is comfortable being at home and bringing her friends over. That's saying alot, some kid would rather be anywhere but home.
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Comment by SaminSTL on January 14, 2009 at 9:27am - Wow Robyn, sounds like a hard time... If I were you I would have been sittin' down with my good friends Ben & Jerry to figure this one out - ha ha but we all know that the food doesn't solve the problems so that wouldn't work! ... I hope that you guys maybe made a break through with her unexpected comment and now maybe things will get better and shed some light on the situation. My son is only 2 so I don't have any experience with teenagers but I know I was a teenage girl once and my mom and i butted head ALL THE TIME! ... It sounds like you have great children and I hope things get better... i think communication is key in a situation like this ... good luck!! :)
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