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It's been awhile...
Here I sit in San Diego having tagged along with my husband on a work trip. We came out for the weekend and had a lot of fun. We needed time together in a really bad way without any distractions. It's been really nice.
I'm not doing well on the weightloss front and I don't know why. I know I'm eating what I shouldn't but I don't know why I am doing this when I so badly want to be healthy. My workouts have sucked. As soon as I started meeting up with my trainer again, I threw out my back (BAD!) and was laid up for a week. I'm still struggling with the aching back quite a bit - and trying to walk as much as I can now that the weather is good. Weights and running, though, really don't seem like a possibility. When we get back from our trip, I'm going to hit it good.
Here's the thing that sucks the most. When I joined WW last July, I imagined myself next summer with this incredible body. It's not going to happen.
Here's the deal:
I moved in June after having a baby in May.
I started a new job that was ridiculously hard in July and have been going strong with that ever since.
My husband started a new job too and we had some serious adjustments to do as a family.
So that's it. When it comes down to it, working out and eating right just didn't go to the forefront of my mind.
I'm embarrassed. To who? I guess to myself. I just want to feel good (my back issue doesn't help at all. It always hurts) I don't really care what people think of me and how I look, but I'm ashamed of myself.
Is this feeling the one thing I need to really make it happen? To come home from my trip ready to rock and roll? To spend spring and summer outside as much as humanly possible? To remember how incredible I feel after a long walk or a good workout?
This morning, I just woke up sad. I got on and read some people's blogs who are doing well and felt so much envy. That's not good - clearly they have everything else in their minds worked out. I'm still working on some things. It's really time for me and my body to be put at the forefront.
I really don't understand how being busy can impede weightloss - especially if you really want it.
Ok, I"m done. I'm going to leave my hotel and go look for something healthy to eat for breakfast. Gotta start somewhere!
I'm not doing well on the weightloss front and I don't know why. I know I'm eating what I shouldn't but I don't know why I am doing this when I so badly want to be healthy. My workouts have sucked. As soon as I started meeting up with my trainer again, I threw out my back (BAD!) and was laid up for a week. I'm still struggling with the aching back quite a bit - and trying to walk as much as I can now that the weather is good. Weights and running, though, really don't seem like a possibility. When we get back from our trip, I'm going to hit it good.
Here's the thing that sucks the most. When I joined WW last July, I imagined myself next summer with this incredible body. It's not going to happen.
Here's the deal:
I moved in June after having a baby in May.
I started a new job that was ridiculously hard in July and have been going strong with that ever since.
My husband started a new job too and we had some serious adjustments to do as a family.
So that's it. When it comes down to it, working out and eating right just didn't go to the forefront of my mind.
I'm embarrassed. To who? I guess to myself. I just want to feel good (my back issue doesn't help at all. It always hurts) I don't really care what people think of me and how I look, but I'm ashamed of myself.
Is this feeling the one thing I need to really make it happen? To come home from my trip ready to rock and roll? To spend spring and summer outside as much as humanly possible? To remember how incredible I feel after a long walk or a good workout?
This morning, I just woke up sad. I got on and read some people's blogs who are doing well and felt so much envy. That's not good - clearly they have everything else in their minds worked out. I'm still working on some things. It's really time for me and my body to be put at the forefront.
I really don't understand how being busy can impede weightloss - especially if you really want it.
Ok, I"m done. I'm going to leave my hotel and go look for something healthy to eat for breakfast. Gotta start somewhere!
Comment
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Comment by Julie on April 23, 2009 at 1:53pm - by the way...you have the cutest smile!! Keep smiling!!!
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Comment by Julie on April 23, 2009 at 1:52pm
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I just wrote this ultra long reply and it didn't show up...maybe that's a sign...to sum it all up...
you are beautiful, smart, and have everything inside you to be whoever you choose to be....If you choose to be your healthiest self - it is in the DOING that you will feel motivation. Motivation isn't something we have to "find"...actually it comes thru DOING. So just like your degree...map it all out...what you already know you need to do...and each day...DO IT. BE the best caretaker of yourself that you can be...and you will feel incredible. Read my post on choices...each day make little choices that aren't overwhelming that create that positive movement forward to your healthiest self and with each choice you are building and getting stronger and stronger. Brighter days are here already...its all within you to make it happen. If you can take care of 25 kids in a classroom I have a feeling you can take care of yourself just fine. You can and you will, because you're smart...its really all about science...healthy calories in ...and movement. Incorporate movement...make good choices...do not continue habits that aren't working for you - CHANGE them. It's not that hard...we just let our minds think its hard but its harder being self defeated and not changing...feel better, and DO IT girl!!!
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Comment by Mommy2Ema on April 13, 2009 at 9:31pm -
Courtney,
I haven't checked in with BTL in forever, but since I did (finally) tonight, I made sure to see how you were doing as you were always such a great support to me in the past. I am sorry that your back is out of sorts-I am sure that is not helping your efforts at all. I know how you feel... wanting something so badly... and it feeling unattainable. I, too, have wondered how it's possible to want something so badly that is within your control to grasp, and yet to consistently give up trying in one way or another, by allowing life to get in the way. I think you're going to do great. I am going to try to check in here more often so if you need to talk, hopefully I will log in at the right time, when you ned that extra "umph". Good luck when you get back from vacation.
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Comment by Robyn on April 13, 2009 at 3:00pm - Courtney...SO glad to see you stop in! I've missed you! I hope your back starts to feeling better soon! Maybe the spring sunshine will help with the "sadness" you've been having!!
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Comment by Dana on April 13, 2009 at 11:07am -
I just read your post, after posing myself, and I completely empathize with you! Hang in there. You are off to the right start with going to have that healthy bfast. I hoping that something will spark me too to get back on track. Like you, I feel sad too......let's help each other to get back to it! Good luck! I'll be looking forward to hearing how your day went:)
:) Dana
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