Just add it to the pile...

I feel like my life is in a heap right now. Just "things" happening and I am plain overwhelmed. And I'm letting my personal issues get in the way of my weight loss goals - just like I did last time.

Work just stinks - mainly because I am not in my routine and I can't seem to find my groove between the desk I'm covering and my desk.

Financial situation - sucks! Seems like I dig myself out of one hole only to find myself in another. I am the one that handles the finances in my household and can I just say - I HATE DOING THE BUDGET!!!! I was planning our family vacation, and now it looks like we are not going to be able to go. We had a termite inspection done because we suspected we had termites - and sure enough we do. The estimate - $2,200. I have a third company coming out next week, but I can't imagine it's going to be much less than the other two. We simply can't realistically afford a vacation and the expense of an exterminator. But we need to attend to the termites, so looks like vacation will take a back burner.

My mom moved to Arizona two years ago from Chicago (where I used to live). Long story short, she is moving back to Chicago because she can't seem to find/get hired for a decent job here in Arizona. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. First off, she hasn't told me she has accepted the job in Chicago and that she plans on starting June 2 - I found this out by other means. So I'm really hurt that she's leaving. I know she will tell me eventually, but I don't like the idea of her being so far away. There is a lot more to this story; too long to post really. But the bottom line she has been my mother and my father for most of my life (dad is a deadbeat). When I moved to Florida 4 years ago and left her behind in Chicago, I felt lost without her. I didn't realize how much I was going to miss her until it actually happened. So when we reunited in Arizona, I was thrilled! My life felt complete again, and now I just feel like there is going to be this huge empty hole. Time is too short to be spent apart, and I do not have the financial means to be visiting her every year.

Don't get me wrong, my life is blessed. I guess for the moment I'm just feeling down, feeling overwhelmed, and feeling yet again that among everything going on right now, weight loss is just not at the forefront. And I know it can't be an excuse, but I can't find the groove, I just can't. I don't know how to explain it other than to say that I guess in this moment, I just don't want it badly enough.

I don't post as often as I like because I used to post from work, and for some reason the site doesn't work as well from my workplace. I don't know how Roni does it! At the end of the day the last thing I normally want to do is to sit in front of my computer. Like right now I'd normally be sleeping! And I would be except that my son is out (he's seventeen) and I have a hard time falling asleep until I know he's home. We had a school thing tonight, and I let him go out with some friends after the ceremony. On a positive note, my son received Outstanding Actor Award, Thespian of the Year Award, Lifesaver Award (stepping into a role that someone dropped out of at the last minute), he received Thespian Honors as well. There were a couple of other awards that I cannot remember at the moment, but it was cool and I was a proud mom. He was president of the Thespian club this past year; next year he will be president of the Drama and Thespian Club.

My daughter is also in drama; this was her first year. She received Outstanding Freshman Award and Best Technician in Lights & Sound. She will be the secretary for the drama and Thespian club next year.

Their drama teacher approached me this evening to tell me I have great kids. That felt really nice. :-) There was also a woman in the audience that approached me and told me that she really liked coming to the plays just to see my son because he makes the whole show. She said she really enjoyed his acting and that he should consider doing it professionally. Yeah, I know, cheesy.

Well, I'm off to bed. I hear his key turning in the lock. Good night all, and thanks for stopping by.