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Discouraging People
As I was leaving work this evening and saying my “goodnights” to befriended co-workers, I casually commented on what I was going to have for dinner. I mentioned that I was in the mood for soup & maybe a grilled cheese but that I didn’t think that would give me enough calories or points for today as I hadn’t eaten that much. At that point one of my elder co-workers, Miss Mildred as she is lovingly called, proceeded to lecture me about all the reasons I shouldn’t worry about what I eat. Albeit she is entitled to her opinion it struck me in such a way that I began to reconsider my decision to lose weight. She went on to tell me that I am stressing myself out about losing weight and that any medical problems I will ever have in life is not determined by my weight past, present, or future. After she was quite proud of herself for backing me into a proverbial corner she babbled on a bit more chastising me with every word spoken through her teeth. As a coup de grâce she says “I’d just go on to Wendy’s or something and grab a burger”. What right has she to make me feel like I’m 2 feet tall for wanting to do this for myself? When I have children I want to be able to run and play with them like a normal person and not have to sit after 2 or 3 minutes of activity. I’m a nationally certified massage therapist and I have gotten so large and out of shape I don’t even have the stamina to do a 1 hour full body massage without pouring sweat and hyperventilating. My reasons for beginning this journey are all for me.
1. I fear having another miscarriage; it would be more than I can bear.
2. Maybe this will increase my chances of becoming pregnant by resolving my issues w/ PCOS & being borderline diabetic.
3. After becoming pregnant & giving birth I’d like to be in better shape and not add pounds onto my already obese body & short frame.
4. I want to have more energy, longevity, and be in better health in the years to come.
5. I love myself and who I am right now, today but I would like to earn the respect that being thinner would afford me. I don’t want to be skinny per se but I’d like not to be treated like a 2nd class citizen in certain situations. I’m sure you all can relate.
In any case I don’t think I have felt this bad about doing something I was excited about since I was ridiculed as a child. It’s amazing how effective words can be; she may as well have physically slapped me across the face. She really demeaned everything that I have been working for and believing in for the past month or two. I simply feel crushed and exhausted by the experience. For those of you who’ve actually taken the time to read this I appreciate it, your encouragement is needed badly as my esteem is deflated and I truly feel like crying. Sorry for making this so long, I’m just pouring out my heart right now.
1. I fear having another miscarriage; it would be more than I can bear.
2. Maybe this will increase my chances of becoming pregnant by resolving my issues w/ PCOS & being borderline diabetic.
3. After becoming pregnant & giving birth I’d like to be in better shape and not add pounds onto my already obese body & short frame.
4. I want to have more energy, longevity, and be in better health in the years to come.
5. I love myself and who I am right now, today but I would like to earn the respect that being thinner would afford me. I don’t want to be skinny per se but I’d like not to be treated like a 2nd class citizen in certain situations. I’m sure you all can relate.
In any case I don’t think I have felt this bad about doing something I was excited about since I was ridiculed as a child. It’s amazing how effective words can be; she may as well have physically slapped me across the face. She really demeaned everything that I have been working for and believing in for the past month or two. I simply feel crushed and exhausted by the experience. For those of you who’ve actually taken the time to read this I appreciate it, your encouragement is needed badly as my esteem is deflated and I truly feel like crying. Sorry for making this so long, I’m just pouring out my heart right now.
6 Comments
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Comment by AnnaBanana on June 28, 2008 at 1:33am - wow, you are so reflective and have so much insight into what happened! be strong! it is a sad fact that many people in the world DO NOT want others to be happy. sounds like you had a run-in with a bitter woman. don't let her suck you into her negative energy field...run!
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Comment by Arlene on June 28, 2008 at 1:39am - You have great reasons for losing weight. Don't listen to that woman ... perhaps she's just upset that she can't lose weight? And she's dead wrong about health issues: The more you weigh, the more problems you're at risk for. My mom died at age 59, after having a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery, and having had diabetes that went undiagnosed for probably two years. Miss Mildred should keep her idiotic opinions to herself!
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Comment by Christie on June 28, 2008 at 2:13am - Don't let her words get to you. You are doing the right thing. Some people are just like that -- handing out free (unsolicited) advice that never makes sense. While it's true that she may be able to go to Wendy's and "grab a burger or something" that just not true for the rest of us. Also, I am sure that your weight does have an effect on your overall health -- what she says about that is just not true.
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Comment by Tanya on June 28, 2008 at 8:37am - Please do not these negative words put a damper on what you have been doing. This is your personal journey and no one else has the right to interfere. You are doing this for all the right reasons. Yes words can be deadly and they stick with us more than people realize. However, you have to be strong and change your thinking for the positive. Let the woman's word fuel you to do more exercising or moving more and not allow them to dictate what you put in your mouth. You are worth everything you have been doing the last month and we are all here for you. Hope today is better!!
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Comment by Sarah on July 7, 2008 at 4:58pm -
Jeez, not only was Miss M just plain WRONG with the crap she was spouting, she went out of her way to criticize you for trying to be good to yourself! I got told by a GP over here that I just had to eat less, as though I was some kind of frickin' idiot---"oh gee really? and all this time I was stuffing my face with donuts!" Of course she was a skinny woman who never had a weight problem. She was slightly more sympathetic when I said I had PCOS, but even then commented "you like your food, don't you".
Anyway, all I came on here to say was that I'm right there with you on reasons 2-5. I've never even managed to get pregnant, but I'm also terrified of a miscarriage when/if I do. PCOS is a nasty condition to have, and losing weight, no matter how difficult it is, is the one best thing that we can do to help ourselves. No way you should 'just grab a burger'---Miss Mildred obviously doesn't understand PCOS, and I actually don't think she's entitled to an opinion! That's giving her too much credit. When she actually reviews the scientific, professional literature about PCOS and the positive effects of weight loss on this condition, THEN she can form an opinion. Until then, she should keep her stupid mouth shut.
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Comment by ShineyNickel on July 26, 2008 at 5:39pm - Wow, I know you posted your blog a little while back but I am just going to tell you to remain strong. And STAY EXCITED about what your doing. There is so much self discovery that you are making right now. I think in your co-workers case she just is majorly lacking in understanding in regards to your situation. But you know why you are doing it and it is wonderful. Keep your chin up and keep discovering all the ways to enjoy life including the right food.
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