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Kerina

Just For Tonight

I cannot believe how much another person's nood can affect my own. My husband, bless his heart, is not the most positive person around and so it is very challenging. I have always known that his mood can affect me but until recently I did not realize how much. In my quest to be more self aware, I have been trying to focus on my mood and how it affects the people around me. The most important being my children. I really want them to learn as children how their mood can affect the ones around them and how others' moods can affect them and how they have a choice in the manner in which they react to the moods.

It might be that I just need to vent, but he (dh) sure can make me mad, frustrated and in general very agitated and grumpy. There are other words in which would describe it better but they are not very polite. (Not that I would say them anyway :) but you never know)

This evening I realized that I am letting him make me feel this way. I have the power to deal and then go on. I don't have to join him in his little funky reality but I can rejoin my reality (which is much funner anyway) in a much better mood. I have the power fo decide how I will react to situations. Up until now, with pretty much every fact of my life, food has been the manner in which I react. So tonight, even though I am frustrated or I could be frustrated if I wanted to react in that manner, I am making the choice, just for tonight, to not let myself reach for food. Just for tonight.

I have rehashed and rehashed this stuff until I am blue in the face, but not until now have I ever made the choice of Just For Tonight. I am sure that I will reread this post many times but I will make it though tonight without reaching for food. WOW!!!! I can do it.

6 Comments

erin Comment by erin on July 21, 2008 at 11:07pm
Good for you! It must be very hard for you to be in a less than supportive situation. I admit I am the more negative one in my marriage, but I do know how it feels to try to work on something by yourself. Please know that we are here for you and your venting.
Bonnie Comment by Bonnie on July 21, 2008 at 11:41pm
Great attitude, Kerina! I like that...."just for tonight!" Night time is my worst time for eating too. I live alone, so I don't have someone else here affecting my mood, but that has to be hard for you, and I like that you are using it to teach your children. And yes, I agree with Erin.....you can vent all you want to here.....we all understand! Have a great rest of the night, and a greater tomorrow!
Arlene Comment by Arlene on July 22, 2008 at 12:09am
Just for tonight, huh? That's a great idea. I should adopt it myself, because I tend to snack at night myself. How's this? Just for tonight, I won't eat after midnight. (Since I usually don't get off work until after midnight, and I have a snack when I get home, that's a big sacrifice for me! :D
erin Comment by erin on July 22, 2008 at 11:02pm
how about "Just for tonight" I won't read and comment on blogs while absentmindedly eating a "snack" that should be another meal - which is way too close to bedtime and, Oh, I weigh in tomorrow. Good grief - we all need a "Just for tonight" I think that would be a great group to go to when we are having those nights and get the support from a communtiy rather than that faithful food companion.
HungryHippos Comment by HungryHippos on July 27, 2008 at 7:54pm
Interesting post! I used to be the negative one in the relationship. It rubbed off on my husband, and now sometimes I am slightly more positive. It's weird! School was really difficult this past year- not bad- just challenging I guess is a better word. It really made me realize what was truly bad and what was something we would make it through. I also learned to be positive for my students. I didn't want to be seen as the moody teacher, so even if I was in a bad mood, I "faked" a good one. I would be so surprised when I actually felt good because I was "faking." Attitude really does make a difference.
Marie Comment by Marie on July 30, 2008 at 12:42am
Emotionally, we must be twins. I literally suck in and absorb other people's moods. My hub is a wonderful man, but he'll be the first to tell you (and I'll be the second) that his moods can switch from sweet & fun to overly cranky and impatient at the drop of a hat. I used to just TENSE UP and reflect his moods...until one day, I realized, like you, that I didn't have to. It takes practice to not! My strategy is when I feel myself sucking into someone else's bad moment, I literally stop whatever I'm doing and take a deep breath and remind myself NOT too. So congrats on the self awareness! And your "just for tonight" deal...yeah baby! Just for tonight I'm not going to sit in front of the TV and gorge. (My biggest weakness is dinnertime to bedtime) My favorite saying is "The plan doesn't require perfection...it requires persistence"...Thanks for the motivation!

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