No matter the plan... we all Blog to Lose!
-
Beck
Female
Washington, DC
United States - Share
- Applications
- Blog Posts
- Discussions
- Groups (3)
- Photos
- Photo Albums
Beck's Groups
-
The Great Exchange
36 members
-
Walkers in the Washington DC metro
3 members
-
Our Secrets!
35 members
Beck's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- An aspiring vegetarian (maybe vegan?) aiming for better health.
I recently turned 21, and all of a sudden I realized I was an adult. I could no longer kid myself into thinking that I was so young and that I still had time to ‘mess around.’ I realized that I needed to take control of my life and especially my health. So much disease runs in my family- diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure, etc. It hits me from both sides of the family. All this is compounded by the fact that I’m at high risk just because of my ethnicity (ethnicities?)- I’m both African American and Latina.
I have ‘food issues’ as well. I remember being a little girl and having my extended family tell me I was ‘too skinny’, but I was never as thin as my friends and they would all complain about their weight and their bodies. In middle school, my family was forcing more food on me and my friends were going on their first diets. Don’t get me wrong, the choices I made were my own, but outside influences didn’t help. I developed an unhealthy relationship with food. I learned to ignore my own satiety and just eat (and eat, and eat) but I didn’t want to get fat so I just got rid of the vast majority of what I ate. My family thought I was just sick and I played that up a lot because it meant I could get out of going to school for days, and school was full of stress and not worth the time since I was pretty much ahead of everyone at the time (not to sound conceited, just public school). It was working out well, three slices of cake after my second helping of dinner, a day of lying around in front of the television and I still fit into my jeans.
So, I developed an eating disorder. There were times when I wouldn’t purge but the binging remained. There were times when I wouldn’t eat for extended periods of time to lose the binge weight. I had the trifecta of eating disorders, bulimia, anorexia, binge eating disorder, to varying degrees. It was a constant roller coaster ride filled with pain and loneliness because there was no one I could talk to about these things. The past few years of which were more binge than anything else so instead of *basically* maintaining at a weight range I just gave up because I didn’t care about anything anymore.
I don’t think I’ll ever fully escape a decade, or so, of disordered eating but I’m doing much better now. When the scale starts messing with me I think about how quickly I can make those numbers descend with a little (or a lot) less food and a few minutes by the sink after every meal. I resist though because I’d rather spend the next decade steadily headed toward a healthy weight than another one basically killing myself!
I’m more self aware than ever and surprisingly happier than ever. Granted, there are still changes that I need to make and daily annoyances that are roadblocks on my path. Life is not easy, but I am still content!
I am…
* a daughter
* a sister
* a friend
* a student
* a nanny
…
* a work in progress
- Plan of Choice:
- None
- Website/Blog:
- http://allveggedout.wordpress.com
- Workout Philiosophy:
- I'm a gym rat ALL the way
© 2008 Created by Roni
Comment Wall (1 comment)
You need to be a member of Blog to Lose to add comments!
Join this network