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FatRat 46, Female st. louis United States: Share

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Your worst trigger

Replied Jun 9

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About Me:: I am in the SCA and love to camp, I love animals and animal causes, I am gregarious and outspoken, and maybe a little too free with my weird opinions. I play the recorder, I live in a bad neighborhood (my house is full of bullet holes).I'm 46, single, childless, an atheist and a democrat. I am going to school for computer art.
So, I weigh 160lbs now. I remember how fat I thought I was when I was 130!
My goal is to get to 120 lbs. I want to be lean, and muscular and strong and wirey. I realize that if I HAVE to get old, I might as well be Beautifully and Energetically old!
I don't even want to have sex anymore because I am so ashamed and aware of my fat, flabby body.
It's cool though.
I joined a gym and I strength-train for 30 - 45 minutes 5 days/week, and I run 2 miles a day, 4 days a week. I just keep gaining weight, though. I eat about 1200 - 1500 calories a day, so I think I'll cut down to 1000.
While I don't LOVE working out or running, I really HATE not eating all that I want, so THAT is where my focus must be, I think. Trying to convince myself that I don't have to eat till I burst in order to be happy.
The photo below is horrible, but it is appropriate, I think, to show my dilemna. It was taken today, June 3, 2008, with a cheap little keychain camera. HysTERical!!!
Oh, and Roni just brought up an important topic in a comment:
I WILL be posting other photos of other women who I think look inspirational to me, so don't think these beautiful women are me.
I'm quite fluffy...for NOW!

Plan of Choice:: Other

Workout Philiosophy:: I only exercise because I have to

Goals - short term and long.

I promise to be skinny, strong and MAGNIFICENT by November 1st.
I will dance, wear great clothes, and feel powerfull, confident and FREE.
My unshakeable discipline will make sure I eat healthy, train diligently for my fall marathon, and lift weights
5 days a week. My lean, mean body will be living proof that humans don't have to torture animals to look fanTAStic! By November 1st, I will be 120 lbs of strength and beauty.

FatRat's Blog

July 2

I Ran 4 miles yesterday in 51 minutes...no, that's not fast, but it's faster than the 15 minute miles I WAS running a month ago! I have a half marathon in september (13.5 miles) that I want to run in, and until now, I was just lolligagging around, but now it's time to actually TRAIN. I've never done this before. My goal is to average the entire run doing a 10minute mile. I now realize it's getting harder to find blog time as I increase my running time. Balance, balance, balance. I haven't weighe… Continue

Posted on July 2, 2008 at 7:29am —

JUNE 28

Yesterday was my Birthday, So my BF took me to Pocahontas Ill (where country singer Gretchen Wilson grew up) and we ate at my favorite fried fish place, and then went to a Drive Inn. Huh...not too many drive inns around anymore... But ANYWAY, before that, I asked my boyfriend if he wou… Continue

Posted on June 28, 2008 at 11:30am — 1 Comment

June 27

Posted on June 27, 2008 at 8:00am —

June 26th

I am nothing without my self-help podcasts and sessions that I downloaded onto my IPOD. Am I a big Dork? Surely, yes. But still, After my wild, self-poisoning vacation, while I was wondering "am I REALLY gonna start this whole, I'm-a-lean-mean-happy-health-machine fantasy again?" I begrudgingly put on my IPOD, put on a smarmy diet podcast ("Gratitude and Motivation", or some such mental pablum) and the next thing you know, I'm running running running, and here it is, 4 days later, and I am just… Continue

Posted on June 26, 2008 at 7:43am —

June - 25

So, last night I was talking to a girlfriend on the phone. It was looooonnnng conversation, filled with dancing around certain topics we were on the opposite sides of, and I was compelled to dive into a bottle of wine. Looking back, I was trying to relieve the stress of all the verbal… Continue

Posted on June 25, 2008 at 7:30am —

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At 9:53am on June 25, 2008, SaucyWench said…: Hey girl! I'm a Ren Fest geek, not on the level of SCA, but definately the embodiment of FUN for the year! Garb so rules. I need my monthly does of bodice and my out-of-bodice experience or I go nuts!

I just wanted to say to you that I think your body will not do well at 1000 calories. Your metabolism will slow down and I think you'll be disappointed. Instead of cutting the calories, maybe cut down on things like sodium, refined sugar, and high fructose corn syrup. Even white starches, going with whole wheat everything and yams and red potatoes might help. I lost a fast 10 pounds when I did that! Good luck!

At 8:39pm on June 11, 2008, Maggie the Machanic said…: you! are you back from camping yet?? howd the swimmin-off-the-booze plan workout?

At 3:52am on June 8, 2008, Arlene said…: Hi again. I played the flute in high school and a little in college, but haven't touched it very often since. Marching band was my favorite part of playing an instrument in high school. I must admit, I hated playing that little plastic "song flute" in fourth grade so much that I almost didn't join band the next year ... I think it stems from the time I forgot the darn thing and the music teacher made me write "I will not forget my song flute" over and over again. Ugh! :P

At 9:17am on June 6, 2008, Michele D said…: You look pretty good to me as well...I agree with Roni...and good luck with your goals...my November goal would have to be to be under 200lbs! I am 248.5 now (at last Friday's weigh-in), so I think it's a bigger than life goal, but I want it...so I will press on...but if I am at 210, I will have lost 100 pounds at that point...that gives me 38.5 to go to reach 100...48.5 to be under 200....we'll see...what did you start at??